Second Edition Out Now Every parent struggles at some point; we all know there is no parenting rule-book and when parents separate it gets much harder. ‘101 Questions Answered About Separating With Children’ is full of answers to questions we have received over the last 10 years. They have been answered by a wide range of experienced family lawyers, mediators, psychologists, GPs, judges and headteachers. The book also contains tips and reflections from parents and children and support and guidance on COVID and the family courts. This book is regarded by many as the essential resource for separating families.Read More
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During this pandemic it is our aim to do more to support the growing number of separating parents who are going through family court without support. With your help we can engage with more parents and provide them with copies of the revised crowd sourced ‘101 Questions Answered About Separating With Children’.
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My mother told me, after I left my husband, that she was relived but that I shouldn't forget we had a child together and therefor I would have to have a relationship with him for life!
It has been extremely difficult as a dad to except you can't cuddle or kiss your children but being realistic and accepting this time will pass, helps. Also having a good structure around you is essential to your own mental health.
I always advise 24 hours on everything. If you're fed up with something said, always wait 24 hours to respond. First conclusions are often formed in anger. A bit of time helps you see it's not as dramatic as you perceive it.
We were worried doubt remote court hearings but I must say they have been incredibly effective and efficient.
My advice is to be open, ask for help, people won't always know how you're feeling or what you are dealing with.
One of the characteristics of our case is alienation from me, my partner and my sons's extended family. COVID-19 restrictions have allowed me to address some of the issues face on and spend quality time with my son. This has allowed me to understand the depths of his upset.
I would have done things differently by accepting the family break-up sooner, detaching myself emotionally and not being too reactive.
If parents don't co-parent well it is essential that the non-resident parent who is refused contact tries to stay positive for both themselves and their child/children.
If you can possibly afford counselling for yourself, do it. It really helped me see that my family of 4 was still a real family and not incomplete without 5 of us
Allow your children to have a different opinion to your own. Infact, allow anyone (friends, family and your children) to have their own opinion on both your ex-partner and the circumstances of your separation. They can't share your hurt and trying to make them do so will only harm them and your relationships.
On reflection I would have had my ex arrested immediately the first time I was hit. My guilt is four children who have now normalised domestic abuse. That is my crime.
Look after yourself, ask for help, make friends with other single parents, do new things.
I wish I had taken more time to introduce my new partner to my daughter.