Written by Adele Ballantyne

Adele has an MA in Relationship Therapy in 2011 and is a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). She has experience in helping a wide variety of individuals, couples and families. Her consultancy work with organisations includes contracts with hospitals and NHS Trust departments.

 This is a life changing moment; give it, and more importantly your partner, the time and respect they deserve.

  • Pick a time and place where you can have an uninterrupted
  • Prepare your partner by explaining that the conversation is important and
  • Try not to ‘blurt it out’ during a heated conversation. If possible choose a time when both of you are calm.
  • Ensure that you have thought about what you want to say
  • Keep calm and breathe slowly, it will help!
  • Try not to interrupt each other, wait until the other person has
  • Really listen to each other.
  • Check you have heard correctly by repeating what you thought you
  • Correct if it’s not accurate.
  • If either person becomes heated or angry call a time out and try again once you are both
  • Give your partner some space, allow the information to sink in, expect an outrage or

Talk again when they are ready to.


Additional Resources

Recommended books for parents going through separation and divorce.

You maybe interested to read Adele’s article ‘Is It Over’.

You may also find our Useful Links page helpful.


    Did you find this useful?

    Thanks for your feedback. :)

    Can you tell me which of the following applies to you:


    Anything else to add?

    101 Questions Answered About Separating With Children

    We published this book last year for parents who are going through separation and are struggling to know where to start. The book is stuffed full of important and accurate legal information and sign-posting, reflections from parents who have been through it and other professionals who offer support and advice on how to look after yourself throughout the process.........

    Read More >