A. Hi, here's my reply.

Its very sad u have lost contact. If you have worries about your childrens welfare you should contact your local authority or solicitor. As they are almost adults now you could try to contact them direct. Good luck.

Jackie

A. This is a very common problem once new partners come on the scene and is often not based on logic but on an emotional response. If you can talk about it between you so that you can find out what your ex’s concerns are, that would be the easiest solution. Perhaps she would like to meet your new partner and in the interests of fairness, perhaps you would like to meet her new partner too? Perhaps you need an agreement that your daughter will not be left with new partners unless the ex is okay with that on both sides. All of this will depend on how able you are to have a conversation about this. In terms of your rights, you would need to consult a solicitor to establish your legal rights but this can sometimes exacerbate the situation if letters start to go back and forth. Perhaps call your nearest mediation service to get an appointment to see a mediator and see what other options you may have if the attempt to talk doesn’t work.

Kind regards

Jackie Norton

A. The Solicitor is helpfully advising that you set up a rota so that both parties and the children know when contact is going to take place. That’s usually a good thing, especially whilst communication is difficult or not happening. This is not an agreement which is legally binding so is not set in stone. The only contact agreement which is legally binding is a contact order produced by the Court and decided by the Judge. Whilst its not set in stone, this means there is room for negotiation at a stage where you feel more able to have that conversation. Mediation can help you with that. You could also get some legal advice if you are concerned. Hope that helps.

Kind regards

Jackie

A. Hi, This is really a legal question in terms of your rights. If there is a contact order which dictates where he can take them, then he is bound by that. I suspect there will not be one, so he can take them anywhere he likes. If you feel the children are in some way at risk of harm, you need to talk it over with children’s services for advice but are unlikely to intervene unless the risk is serious. If you want to try to improve communication with him so that there is no need for lies, of course I would suggest mediation. Then you can tell him that the children are unsettled as he may not know about this. You may want to ask a Solicitor for information on her legal rights.



Hope this helps.

A. Understanding your finances is a vital part of gaining, or regaining your financial freedom. While everyone's finances are different, the following list is a good place to begin if you find yourself needing to regain financial control.

- Revise your will / trust
Whether you have had a will or trust in place in the past, now is the time to meet with an estate-planning solicitor to draft one. This document allows you to determine who will inherit your hard earned assets, who will care for your children in the event of your death, and how your children will inherit the assets you have left to them.
It is important to establish these guidelines rather than leaving the decision up to the state. In addition, you should ask your solicitor about a medical directive. This important document appoints a trusted love one with the ability to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are unable to do so.

- Update your beneficiary designations
While you have taken the steps to update your Living Will or Trust, certain accounts require you to directly appoint a beneficiary. This includes your life insurance and retirement accounts.
Contact your life insurance company or broker, as well as the companies where your retirement accounts are held and request a change of beneficiary form. This form can usually be faxed in, no questions asked.

- Develop a budget
It is important to put together and follow a budget. Now that you are living off one income, instead of two, understanding what income is coming in, as well as what income is flowing out, will allow you to plan for expenses and ensure you are not overspending.

You may need to cut back or you may have more money to save! Either way, it is important to know for sure. During this process, it is also important to understand how you income is being taxed. For instance, child support is not taxable. Speak to a tax professional to help you determine what is and what is not taxable.

- Manage your credit cards
Have you pulled your credit lately? It is important to review your credit report to ensure that your ex-partner is no longer authorised on your cards. This is an important step for home and car loans as well.

- Develop a retirement plan
During divorce settlements, retirement assets are often split 50/50.This may or may not have worked in your favour. Either way, it is important to understand what you can expect, and what you need to plan for. A Certified Financial Planner can assist you in forecasting your retirement need, developing a savings plan, and determining which investments are right for you.

- Reassess your health insurance needs
It is important to be sure that your health insurance is sufficient to cover your needs, but isn’t too expensive. If it is through your work, don’t forget to remove your ex from the plan.

If you were previously on your spouses / partners plan, you do not need to wait until open enrollment to sign up at your company. Just make sure you act quickly. Most insurance companies consider divorce a "qualifying event" or "life event" and allow thirty days to change your plan accordingly.

- Ensure you have adequate Life Insurance
In order to be sure your children are well provided for and your debts will not affect those you love, having adequate life insurance coverage is important. I recommend using a life insurance calculator or speaking with a Certified Financial Planner to determine how much coverage you should purchase.

- Attend a mediation information session to learn about how mediation can assist you to save money
Solicitor's fees can be very expensive, but there are things that you can do to help keep your overall divorce more affordable. Some common sense and not so common sense things can have a dramatic impact on the amount of billable hours it takes to get your case resolved.

The biggest contributor to an expensive divorce is the extra time spent by your professionals doing what you could have done yourself. The best part is that a well prepared client is usually a lot easier to deal with and makes for a much more favourable outcome. Mediators help clients to reach joint decisions about the issues associated with their separation - children, finance and property. National Family Mediation has well established quality assurance standards. Our mediators are carefully selected and trained to a high standard nationally.

While everyone's situation is different, applying these steps will allow you to begin on the path to financial freedom. Understanding your current financial picture while setting goals for your future are important steps in starting your new life.