A. Hi there, I'm not sure whether the couple are married.

If the mother and father are married, mother may attend alone and enter her husband's details as father. From speaking to my local Registrar, I understand that if they are not married, the only way that she would have been able to register him as father would be by providing a statutory declaration from him or a court order declaring his parentage. My advice is for him to attend before the registrar at the office where the birth was registered and ask for details of the registration. Specifically, how did the Registrar satisfy him/herself that father's details could be entered in his absence. If it is the case that a statutory declaration has been forged then perjury may have been committed which is criminal offence carrying penalties. Either way, the first step is to make an appointment to see the Registrar to get it investigated.


Best Regards

A. Hi there

I presume that the contact order stipulates the time of the contact.
Whilst, one needs to be flexible for certain situations, the times should be adhered to. The children need to have a routine and know when to expect Daddy.

Have you told the childminder about the contact times so that she knows what times to make the children available? I know that it puts her in an awkward situation, but if on one occasion she makes clear that she will keep the children until the given time, perhaps he will get the message.
Presumably, the childminder will have them doing activities or it may be meal time. Your ex needs to be encouraged to stick to the terms of the order and call you if he needs to collect the children early for some reason. You will then take a view and let the childminder know if you agree to the change.

One has to remain flexible if other things are planned. Each parent needs to be encouraged to respect the terms of the order because they are put in place for a reason. If he constantly ignores / seeks to change the terms of the order, the court will frown upon him. He needs to show the court that he can put the children's needs first and do what is right for them. Does he bring them back on time? Please keep a diary if he is constantly collecting early and returning late. Sometimes it may be for genuine reasons i.e. if he is stuck in traffic. It's something that you need to
keep an eye on.

I would not say that it is child abduction or kidnapping but he is strictly in breach of the order if times are given. One must always attempt to have some flexibility if possible. You may find that you need him to pick them up early one day? Essentially, the terms of the order should be adhered to unless on the odd ocassion flexibility is needed. Perhaps, ask your
solicitor to contact him if he is continuing to collect early.

Hope that helps.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there
The Child Support Agency has it's own regulations on what it considers as forming part of income. Dividends and bonuses do form part of income but I'm not sure about redundancy payments.

I think it depends on whether the redundancy is contractual or statutory. Also whether he took the redundancy voluntarily may also be relavant. As the court order states, you must follow CSA regulations.

The simplest answer to your question is for you to contact the CSA for clarification. Get the details in writing and send them to your ex. If he still refuses to pay, make an appliation to the CSA and it will collect what is due on your behalf. It may be that they will want to see a P60 at the end of the financial year or copy payslips showing the payment received. At that point adjustments to your payment may be made accordingly.

Sorry I can't be more specific!

A. Hi there

Where there are children, the court will always encourage parties to reach a financial settlement so that the children's housing needs are met. If it is financially possible to retain the house for their benefit then this may be done. It rather depends on the size of the matrimonial pot now and in the near future. It also depends on whether the children 'need' to be in that very house and at 2 and 10 months that doesn't seem to be the case. In many one income households, retaining the house is not possible because as you have said, you cannot finance a house for the next 14 years in addition to housing yourself on a single income.

If your wife is working or has the prospect of getting a reasonable income in the next few years and if she can take over the running costs of the house without much assistance from you, it is a possibility. If the house is retained, you would negotiate a share division and a time for you to receive your share. The triggers may include her re marriage, cohabitation,
agreement or the youngest child attaining majority.

If the running costs are too high and there is no prospect of your wife contributing AND if your income/savings position is not such that you can re house reasonably, it's probably not a possibility to retain the house.

Also, if you are looking at 'sharing care' of the children, you too will need somewhere for them to stay overnight with you. The worst case scenario is selling and both renting if there is not enough for two houses. Could she downsize?

Ultimately, financial settlements have to be fair for both parties and provide adequately for the children. Some would say that having somewhere smaller to stay during Mommy time and Daddy time is better than having agreat house with Mommy but a small bedsit with Daddy?

If you don't think that your wife will be amicable then mediation may not be appropriate although you may be surprised. Try and suggest it as a start.
As for telephone advice, phone me or drop me an e-mail!

Best regards

A. I'm not sure whether you mean CAFCASS rather than mediation? CAFCASS are appointed by the court to assist on Children Act applications. They quite often get involved in contact arrangements and help facilitate contact etc.
The only way to overrule a court order is by agreement or by getting another order. Mother has a duty to facilitate contact as per the court order unless doing so puts the children at risk of harm. It does seem incredibly unfair that mother has arranged something on your weekend without prior agreement. If Cafcass are assisting at the contact sessions and are due to report to the court, they can make suggestions about contact. Have they suggested that she make up the missed wknd?

However, at this stage with the holiday presumably being booked, the question for the court will be what is in the best interests of the children. If the holiday will be great fun and productive for them and they want to go, perhaps your contact be on the 4th wknd? Do the children want to go on the holiday? Will they resent you for not being able to go?
Perhaps the court can be invited to make clear that in future contact should take place as per the order and mother should only arrange holidays on her weekends. Also, if contact is missed without good reason, it should be re scheduled especially as it seems so limited. Is mother refusing to re schedule. Do you think this is an attempt to frustrate contact?

I'm not sure what a court application will achieve at this stage if the holiday has been booked and contact can be rescheduled. Can you seek the 'mediators'/cafcass assistance to reschedule the missed weekend so that the children have best of both?

I agree that it's unfair because you too may have made special plans. When next in court, this point should be made clear.

I hope that helps

A. Hi, thank you for the question.

Contact is the right of the child. However, sometimes our children need encouraging to accept what is in their best interests. For example, if he said "Mommy I don't want to go to school", what would you do? You need to assess whether your son is capable of making that decision and why he is making it. Maintaining a relationship with parents is important unless doing so would put you at risk of harm. Not having any contact and ending a relationship is a big decision that will impact on the rest of his life.
Explore why the relationship has broken down and if there is any way of
repairing it with or without support from parenting organisations.

Your ex has a court order which means that the court has decided that contact is in your son's best interests if only for the interim period. If contact does not take place, you need to explain to the court that your son did not want to attend and the reasons that he gave you if any. At this point an independent third party (children and families court officer) may be instructed to report to the court what your sons wishes and feeling are.
He/she will try to find out why your son is rejecting father and explore ways to make changes if possible. The older your son is, the easier this
will be.

Essentially, if you believe that your son has real concerns and reservations, you need to protect him and ask that the concerns be addressed before contact takes place. Your role is to facilitate contact where it is in your son's best interest to do so. I think at this stage you need to alert father and the court of the situation. Father may be able to address the concerns or, the matter returned to court for the court to investigate and order as appropriate. If possible, work together to address the issue.


Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Thank you for your question. If your Partner's name is registered on the birth certificate, he has parental responsibility. Parental responsibility includes legal obligations and duties in respect of the child. He has the right to be involved in the child's life including important decision making on schools, religion, surname etc. If his name is not on the birth certificate, he can obtain parental responsibility by mother's agreement or court order. He will need to show a commitment to the child and it must be in the child's best interests. Parental responsibility does not give him any 'automatic rights' to have contact but it should be considered if he wants to be involved in her life.

Specifically regarding contact, the child has the right to have a relationship with her father unless doing so will put her at risk of harm.
If mother is not being co operative, try inviting her to mediation services.
If she refuses to attend, I regret that the only other option is to apply to the court for a contact order. The court will appoint a CAFCASS (children and welfare officer) who will initially try to help them reach an agreement about contact (conciliation appointment) and if no agreement can be reached, investigate the issues to make a recommendation to the court as to what contact should take place.

Unless there are allegations against your Partner that put the child at risk of harm, I cannot see why contact would be refused.

To summarise, invite mother to discuss contact. If she refuses, try and find out her reasons and address them if possible. If there is no progress, apply to the court for a contact order.

Hope that helps.

Best regards

Harjit

A. Hello

You must be given credit for putting your son first. You have tried to make a sensible suggestion to address the issue and it has been rejected.
The way forward would be to invite mother to mediation to try and reach an agreement or failing that, apply to the court for an order that your son live with you. A Residence Order. Importantly, part of the court process is to investigate what the current problem is and how it can best be addressed to make life better for your son. What do the schools say? If it is the case that he is misbehaving as a direct result of mother's parenting then, you stand a good chance of succeeding because the court will make whichever order is necessary to safeguard your son's best interests. It may be that mother needs parenting assistance in which case that will be explored in the court arena. If mother can turn things around with assistance, would that be preferable than a change of residence? Just a thought. If it is the case that mother is neglecting your son, then residence to you is probably the best option. It would be interesting to know what your son's opinion of all of this is considering his age and understanding.

Best regards

A. Hello

Any decision made by the court on a child related matter should be based on what is in the best interests of the child.

Shared care does not have to be 50:50. It is whatever is logistically possible and better for the children. Some children have holidays with one parent and term time with another parent because they live too far apart and schooling would not allow anything else. This is a form of 'shared care'.
If you live close to each other, it would be easier to have more time and possibly a 50:50 shared care arrangement. However, amongst other things detailed in the 'welfare checklist', the court will have to consider the age of the children, the distance between you from a commuting point of view and any disruption for the children in doing that commute regularly. All of this is weighed up against their right to maintain a relationship with you.
I would also point out that when considering one's ability to parent, the court will also assess the willingness to facilitate contact with the other parent. In that regard, the court should be asked to assess mother's reasons for moving so far away (if indeed she does go) and her reluctance to
allow more contact. You may want to consider asking the court to make a
prohibited steps order preventing mother from moving before a decision is made on residence. Once a parent moves with a child, it is difficult (but not impossible) for the court to make an order for them to return. I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis and prognosis but perhaps that is a reason to live close by and support one another. I am sure you agree that it would ultimately be better for the children if you had a good relationship and managed parenting together. Perhaps you could consider mediation services?

As said, if you are both pretty equal in terms of capability to parent and live close enough, there is no reason why shared care cannot be an option.
Good luck.

A. If you believe that contact is in your daughter's best interests, your obligation is to facilitate it. That means, make your daughter available for the session. This obligation does not extend to providing accommodation. Can he not take her out for a few hours? There are plenty of things to do with a 5 yr old and because contact is so infrequent, a few hours out somewhere nice will make her feel special.

With regards to the quality of contact, it is sad that father is not seeing her more frequently and needs to be encouraged to maintain the relationship. Life may be tricky with a new wife and newborn but the reasons given by him seem like silly excuses. If his new wife does not want your daughter in her house, this may lead to bigger problems for him in the future. It is incredible that the new wife does not like your 5 yr old because she does not treat her like an adult. It reminds me of a lady who had the nerve to tell me off on an aircraft because my 9 month old was crying. When she stood up, I saw that she must have been at least 7 months pregnant!

It sounds to me like you are doing your best to keep father in your daughter's life and that is great. However, if he wanted to maintain contact with his daughter he would be forthright and do so.

Ultimately, if father does not want to see his daughter more than once every few months and is now making silly excuses about her being in his new home, perhaps it's not worth encouraging him. The worst case scenario is a resentful father having contact with his daughter. That may not be much fun for her.

You are not breaking the law by not allowing contact in your home.

Best regards

A. Hello there. Nobody has an automatic right to a Residence Order in respect of the children. As you are aware, a Residence Order is an Order stating where the children should live. In whose care they should be. The legislation is totally geared towards making necessary orders that are in the best interests of the children. In order to make a decision, the court needs to consider a statutory criteria that includes (i) physical, emotional and psychological needs (ii) risk of harm (iii) capability of person to provide adequate care and (iv) sex, age and characteristics of each child, amongst other things and in no particular order.

The court will appoint a Children and Families Officer (CAFCASS) to investigate. The Officer will file a report to the court making recommendations as to what order is in the child's best interests.

Nobody can guarantee that you will be awarded a Residence Order. From what you have said, if there are no concerns or allegations about your care of the children and if father has not changed, it seems that you are the better person to provide full time care for the children. However, the children need to maintain a relationship with their parents unless it is not in their best interests to do so, commonly due to risk of harm. There are cases of parents who were not good carers in the past but, who have worked hard to reform. Parents who have seen the error of their ways and over time are able to satisfy the court that they have changed and can now provide risk free care for their children. If that is the case, there are merits to the father's application.

It is very difficult to give you a definitive answer without full facts. The court looks for the best person to provide full time care for the children bearing in mind the statutory criteria.

Best Regards

A. Thank you for your question. I do not know whether your ex partner disappeared for two years or was around having contact. I will assume the worst case scenario that she disappeared.

I advise that you speak to each other and try to reach a solution. Depending on the age of your daughter, you will need to take her views into account. In the event that an agreement cannot be reached you will need to apply to the court for an order determining who your daughter should live with. This is a Residence Order. Whilst the application is being considered, you will need to consider an interim order preventing her from removing your daughter from your care if there is a threat to do so.

A children and families officer (CAFCASS) will be appointed by the court to prepare a report recommending what is in the best interests of your daughter. That is, who should have residence and how much contact the other party should have, if any. The investigation may take up to 12 weeks and refers to a statutory criteria set for such applications. The CAFCASS Officer will speak to you, your ex partner, your daughter (depending on age)and any other relevant parties in order to make a recommendation. Amongst
other things, the CAFCASS officer will need to know why your ex Partner disappeared for two years, whether she had any contact during that period, how that impacted on your daughter and how your daughter feels about her seeing her mother again. Your ex Partner's intentions and commitment will need to be investigated as will the impact on your daughter if her mother
were to disappear again. I expect that the court will want to see a slow re introduction and then monitor contact and its impact on your daughter over a period of time. Contact will gradually increase if in your daughter's best interests and then residence reconsidered in future if your ex-Partner still requests it.

A shared residence order is not uncommon these days. Unless there are risks of harm, children benefit from a strong relationship with both parents. If logistically possible, residence is shared between mother and father on a 4 day 3 day cycle. Ultimately, the court will make an order best for the
child. If your ex partner accepts that she made a wrong decision in her life and is now determined to change and be part of your daughter's life, the court is likely to support her if your daughter would benefit from it.

I reiterate that her reasons will be investigated and she will need to prove her intentions and commitment. Ultimately, it must be the right decision for your daughter.

It is unfair that a parent can disappear from a child's life leaving the other parent to change their world to cope, then return and make demands.
However, it is not for the court to punish that parent by refusing contact,because that may not be best for the child. The court must do whatever is
necessary to help the child maintain a healthy relationship with both parents whilst assuring that the child is not at risk of harm. Risks include emotional and psychological harm if that parent returns only to disappear again.

If your ex partner was in your daughter's life having regular and meaningful contact, you may want to consider shared residence.

Best Regards

A. If your ex-husband has parental responsibility for your daughter, he has a legal right to be involved in all of the decisions about important things in her life such as being christened. How much you communicate with each other depends on your relationship. In terms of the law, you don't need his permission. However, if he does not want her to be christened and there is a disagreement, he can apply to the court for a 'prohibited steps order'.
This is an order preventing you from going through with it until the court has decided whether being christened is in her best interests. This would be unusual and without much merit on his part. Some parents have different religious beliefs and therefore, the fairest approach is to teach the children about both faiths until they are old enough to make a choice for themselves.

As regards the Church, I'm not sure whether permission is required.

Best Regards