A. Hi there

That is really disappointing to hear however, many small nurserys do not have proper legal advice on this issue before creating their policies. I advise that you write to the nursery asking for them to set out there legal position in refusing to give you information. That may prompt them to see their lawyers and get this dealt with.

Good Luck!

A. Hello

I am sorry to hear that but it sounds like you have done the right thing which is to contact your solicitor. The first thing is to try and discuss it with the mother of your child. If she will not communicate with you, you should apply to the court for a contact order. Providing that there are no risks of harm, contact should be ordered in your favour. This may be a long process if allegations are made because a court appointed officer will need to investigate allegations. However, your daughter needs you to pursue this as much as you can. If money is an issue please don't hesitate to act in person and refer to myself or Bob for help as you go along the court process. You can do this and I wish you the best of luck to see your daughter as much as is good for her!

Best Regards
Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

This all depends on whether you are married and who receives the tax credits. You will need to discuss your case with the Child Support Agency I'm afraid.

Best Regards
Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

You have a duty to protect your child and therefore, if you feel that contact is not in your child's best interests, you may choose not to facilitate it. Particularly if you are satisfied that there is a risk of harm. If your ex wants to have contact, he may apply to the court for a contact order and the court would decide whether contact was in the child's best interests or not. The reasons for his incarceration would be taken into account.

I hope that helps.

Best Regards
Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

I am so sorry to hear read about this. It must be a difficult time for both of you and you each want to spend as much quality time with your children as possible. Clearly mediation is not going to be an option because your ex is resistant for reasons unknown. My advice is to apply to the court for a contact order as soon as possible. If you do not qualify for legal aid, you may be able to act yourself and use a McKenzie Friend in court to assist you (please speak to Bob about this). If the court is satisfied that it is in your children's best interests to spend more time with you, a contact order should be made. It may take time to investigate this but orders relating to children should be made following investigations to ensure that they are indeed the best for the children. From what you have said, I can see no reason why your request should be refused. Good luck!

Best Regards
Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

Your daughter's step dad does not automatically acquire parental responsibility for your daughter as a result of marrying her mother.

Your rights remain the same.

Hopefully, the relationship between you is amicable such that you can continue to parent for the benefit of your daughter.

Happy New Year.

Best Regards
Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

Your son has been in New Zealand for 5/6 years and is at an important stage in his life with schooling etc. Have you spoken to your ex about how your son feels? Is it likely to be a contested application. Court proceedings are likely to be very costly particularly because your son is in New Zealand. May I suggest that the first step is to mediate with your ex and try to agree this matter. It may be that an agreement can be reached without the need for court proceedings.

I hope that helps, it is always better to reach an amicable agreement first particularly in this situation where he has lived elsewhere for so long. You will also need to consider how you will care for your son if you work in Sri Lanka and live here. What are your plans and what will your plans be to care for your son?

Best Regards
Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

It is fair to say that the passport is normally retained by the main carer. If your ex is difficult about your taking him away, you would not be able to take him even if you did have the passport. Your ex must consent to you taking the child abroad unless you have an order from the court.

My advice is that you try and talk to each other reasonably and plan holidays much in advance to give you time to reach an agreement. Holding or paying for a passport will not really assist. If she refuses to co operate, you may want a solicitor’s letter to ask her for permission formally.

Best Regards
Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

I am sorry to hear this. You should certainly know where your child is for emergency contact details and this would not be an unreasonable request by you. If your ex has a history of violence then you may already have assessed whether there is any risk to the child. If you do not know your ex’s immigration status, how do you know whether or not he will try to remove the child from the country? I know that sometimes it can be difficult to say no to people that we are afraid of and it may be that you need some support in order to make the right decision for your child if only to assess whether there are any risks. Try to contact your lawyer for assistance if your ex will not answer reasonable questions such as where he lives and where the child is likely to be. You should at least have a number?

As for the passport, please contact the passport office for advice.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

I’m sorry to hear about this situation. As regards custody, you don’t need a ‘residence order’ unless there is a dispute about where your daughter should live. It sounds like her mother wants her to live with you therefore no order is necessary. As regards bulling, try to speak to your daughter and get some help about how to cope with/deal with this. There is so much help on the internet and the GP may also be able to steer you in the right direction. It is important for your daughter not to feel abandoned and to feel secure that you will look after her and get her all the help that she needs. It is such an important time in her life and you may wish to speak to the new school too.

Child support will not be payable by you if your daughter now lives with you.

I hope that your daughter finds her way and perhaps with you, it’s a fresh start. Good luck.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

I regret that I can only advise that you speak to your lawyer about the reasons for limited contact. If you feel that the Judge has been unfair or some evidence has been overlooked, your lawyer may be able to do something about this such as negotiate a change with social services.

Good luck.

Best Regards


Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

I am sorry to hear that your ex wife is not coping and it is important to give her credit for acknowledging that she cannot cope. This could not have been easy. Firstly, you as parent must assess what is best for the children and how you can improve the situation to benefit them. Try to have a reasonable discussion with your ex to agree something that works for you as a family. This need not be shared care, it could be some other assistance i.e. midweek contact. How do you feel that it will impact upon them having ‘shared care’? Will it work logistically in terms of schooling, your work etc. Ultimately, is it putting them in a better situation than they are in at the moment? You know your children better than anybody and therefore you should assess what situation works better for them. If your ex is desperate enough to suggest ‘care’ then it is reasonable to assume that the children are better spending more time with you. Do find out why your ex is struggling first, because you may be able to suggest ways for her to cope. The court will make a decision based on what is best for the children. Essentially, if she tells the court that she does not want the children, that only leaves you or a third party...

As for financial repercussions, your payments are tapered depending on how many nights the children stay with you. You should also speak to somebody about child benefits.

I hope that helps. The first step is to work out what would be better for the children.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

By custody you mean that you want your son living with you. When you say that you were not in a financial position to care for him, do you mean ’legal fees’? Do always explore the availability of legal funding by seeing a legal aid lawyer. Whether or not your son lives with you should not be based solely on your financial capability. Although, it is essential that you can meet his needs by providing safety, housing, food, clothing etc. Do make an appointment to see your solicitor for advice about a Residence order and legal funding. A residence order can be granted to you if the court is satisfied that it is in your son’s best interests to live with you. The decision will be based on many factors that will be investigated by a court officer. Ultimately, the court will do whatever it can to make sure that the decision is the correct one for your son.

Good luck.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

I am sorry to hear that your ex is not complying with the court order and is removing your son without consulting you. Could he have made a mistake? Do you communicate at all? Can you contact him to find out why he has taken this step? As for not getting him until Christmas night, I am not informed what the agreement would have been. It is not unusual to alternate Christmas every year. The fact that you are getting him on Christmas day is good because normally alternating leads to contact the following day. I advise that you try and discuss this. If he is not around, you may try your lawyer or even his solicitor. Try to keep calm and ask yourself how your son is. Is he content, how will a disagreement impact upon him during this holiday time. If you are only losing a few hours, perhaps leave it to after Christmas to discuss. If you are losing more time, try to open up a dialogue with him to find out what is going on. My advice is to consider what action is appropriate based on what reaction you may get and the impact on your son. Clearly, this needs to be addressed so that it doesn’t happen again but you need to decide when and how such that your son is not hurt in the process. Long term if possible, it is always best to try and get on with your ex to make such decisions easier and to get reactions that you want.

I do hope that you enjoy Christmas night with your son.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Dear Karen

I am so sorry to hear about this. It is so frustrating when orders are made for the benefit of a child without fully considering all of the risk factors. I am surprised that the court / cafcass did not review the medical evidence from you, your Partner, a GP or psychiatrist. Karen, whilst we cannot advise you to breach a court order, what we can say is that it is your duty to protect your daughter. If you believe that the order is incorrect and contrary to your daughter’s best interests, you need to seek legal advice to vary the order. With your application to vary, I advise that you submit as much evidence of your daughter’s condition as possible and file some statements. If a cafcass officer has already been appointed, you may also wish to discuss this with them.

I do hope it all works out for the benefit of your daughter. Perhaps also try to explore ways of communicating ideas to your ex on how your daughter’s condition should be managed. Tactful advice always goes down better than accusations and criticism.

Good luck Karen.

Best Regards







Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law



BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

I regret that the short answer is No. I’m not sure how old your children are or whether you have parental responsibility but in any event, I assume that you don’t have a Residence order for the children. Without a residence order and without consent from your ex, you cannot remove the children from the jurisdiction without a court order. To do so would be child abduction. I advise that you try asking your ex again and offer security that you will return the children by showing return tickets etc. If she still denies you, perhaps a letter from a solicitor may help? Last attempt, apply to the court for permission to take them (specific issues Order).

Hope that helps.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

A. Hi there

It is a positive step that your ex is wanting to have more contact with your son. If he is enjoying the existing contact then, he may be very pleased about this. Your son has the right to maintain a relationship with both parents as much as he can unless doing so puts him at risk of harm. This can sometimes be difficult in terms of logistics especially when parents live so far apart. It is disappointing to hear that mother does not make enquiries about him when she is not having contact (not sure why that is?) , that may be difficult for your son especially as he sees her so infrequently. At this age he is capable of speaking to her on the phone. I do note your comment about her family being heroine users and I am assuming that you have thought about this risk and it has been dealt with appropriately before the ordered for overnight contact. If you have any doubts over his safety, you owe a duty to him to protect him from those risks. If you accept that your son is benefitting from the current contact and is not at risk of harm then, I suggest the following :

Contact – if your son is enjoying the current contact, you should both talk about extending it and perhaps having indirect contact when he does not see his mother so that the relationship is enduring.

Travelling – It is not unusual for the court to order that the journey be shared. You may make submissions if she moved away from you and therefore, put herself in that position?

Not sticking to orders – If contact to date has not been complied with, you may want to seek a defined contact order specifically listing dates and times including any phone calls. Children need stability and at this age, should not be disappointed and let down frequently.

Hope that helps

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law



BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

Good question. Answer -parental responsibility remains shared except that a parent with a residence order may remove the child from the country for up to a month without seeking the other parent’s permission unless there is a court order saying otherwise.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

A. Hi there

I am sorry to hear about this situation. It is your decision who should be there at the birth. His attendance will make no difference to his application for residence of the child or contact with the child. Those decisions are based on what is in the best interests of the child.

Hope that helps. Don’t be bullied into anything. You need to look after yourself and eliminate anything around you that is causing stress. Let your midwife know how you feel.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

Do you mean illegal or inappropriate? It may be inappropriate depending on how old the child is and what are the sleeping arrangements etc. It may be perfectly innocent but it is for your partner to consider all of the circumstances and investigate accordingly. The starting point is to find out the facts and then try to discuss arising concerns amicably.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. Are you entitled to legal aid? You need to make an appointment with your solicitors urgently. You should also inform the police about the threats and allow them to liaise with the father to return the child. Do not give in to threats and unreasonable demands. Do seek help immediately.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

I am sorry to hear about this. Now that you are not getting tax credits, do make an appointment to see your solicitor asap for another legal aid test. The sooner you are funded and getting legal advice the better. This must be a difficult situation for you to deal with if you are unwell. Please try to get some information from your GP about how to cope deal with all of this. When you are in a better position to deal with this, hopefully you will be in a position to see your children again. It is not wrong for contact to be terminated if there is an allegation of criminal damage. The children must be protected from the risk of harm. I’m sorry that I cannot offer any further advice at this stage.

Best Regards
Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi Dan

I am sorry to hear about your situation. If you are named on the birth certificate as father, you share parental responsibility for your son. You are under an obligation to protect your son and ensure that his best interests are met as much as possible. If your Partner is struggling with things that are outside of her control, perhaps you should speak to your family GP and get some advice on how you can help her manage the situation and also, how you can cope yourself. This need not be something that results in your Partner continuing to struggle and eventually leaving home taking the child with her. It needn’t be a conflict between you and her. If the issue is a form of depression, in most cases help can be given and the situation managed. It cannot be easy for your Partner who may also be struggling with things that she cannot control.

If your Partner does leave, you should arrange contact regularly so that you can keep an eye on how your son is doing. If contact is rejected, you may apply to the court. If you want full care (residence) for your son, you will need to think about facilitating contact between your Partner and your son to maintain their relationship providing that your son is not at risk of harm.

As for being a single father, see all of the articles on OnlyDads, there is a world of support out there for you!

First and foremost, try and get some help for all of you as a family unit.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Dear Trevor

Contact is the right of the child and you must act in her best interests. To that end, if you feel that she would benefit from seeing you and bearing in mind that the court has ordered that contact continue in the contact centre, there is no reason why she should not see you. To avoid allegations you can make sure that a member of staff is always around with you during the contact. Not ideal but, at least you have contact without the fear of allegations.

Hope that helps

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi Garren

If you are having difficulties travelling with all three children from a safety point of view, you are correct to raise this with your ex and try to get a variation to the terms of the order. Try and explain your reasons to her and reach an amicable solution using mediation. If she is unwilling to compromise or even listen to you, I would return to your solicitor and explain your reasons for wanting a change to the order. Ultimately, the safety and well being of the children comes first. Your solicitor may be instructed by you to write a formal letter setting out your new proposal. If she still refuses a reasonable request, you may wish to return to court.

I hope that helps.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi Damien

It’s great to hear that you are such a dedicated father. This cannot be easy for you. It’s difficult for children to adapt to change but they are stronger than we think and can adapt really well with encouragement. It’s a shame that you do not get on with your ex because you will need to work together to make decisions that are best for your daughter for some time yet. If you do not get on, there will be disagreements that cannot be resolved which may ultimately cost both of you in legal fees and stress. Children are sensitive and pick up hostility. It unsettles them and may dictate their behaviour; the way that they deal with things. Try to keep relations amicable and communications lines open. If your daughter is being bullied, try to discuss this with your ex and possibly her new partner too. It may be that the son is as you say, feeling threatened and insecure. If all three of you can get on, the children will sense this and may behave in a different way. Many girls share a bed with their sister and find it great fun if they get on. The key is getting them to like one another and enjoy each other’s company. You should discuss your concerns and work out whether this is rivalry or something more serious. Ultimately, you all need to work together to encourage all four children to be kind to one another and enjoy the new family unit.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

Contact must be for the benefit of your son. If he enjoys contact, is safe from harm and has a good relationship with his father, the contact should continue uninterrupted regardless of whether he pays maintenance or not. I know that sounds harsh but if a man cannot afford maintenance does that mean that his son must go without a father? I suspect that you feel your son may be at risk of emotional harm seeing his father with a new lady which is not unusual. You are right to be concerned about that. Perhaps the best way to deal with it is to have the discussion with your ex about how you can explain this to your son so that he deals with it in a way that is not damaging or hurtful. You may also choose to explain things to him yourself. Ultimately, you are both under an obligation to act in your son’s best interest and if you have concerns, discuss them and agree on how to address them. If your ex does not co operate, ask yourself whether it’s better to explain the relationship to your son rather than prevent him from seeing his father. I agree with you that this should be discussed and managed but if your ex is not cooperating, you may try to manage this by explaining the situation to your son and being there to deal with any issues that arise as a result of the relationship. If your son feels that this is not an issue and that mommy has explained it, he will be more willing to tell you if he is feeling uncomfortable. Children don’t like hostility and try to avoid it. If he feels that the ‘girlfriend’ is an issue for you, is it a possibility that he will not feel comfortable approaching you about things if he is confused.

I hope that you can work this out.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law



BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

Poor you! You have done all the right things so far. Call the police and report the latest contact as continued threats and harassment. Do not hesitate at any time otherwise you are putting yourself at risk of harm.

Best Regards
Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi Rebecca







This one was answered, please scroll down







Subject:



RE: QUESTION for Harjit Sarang - Family Law Expert

Hi there

You have a duty to act in the best interests of your son and protect him from harm. It concerns me that the drug dealer comes to the house. Is that not more dangerous when your son is awake? I wonder if you have discussed this with your ex to satisfy yourself how he currently protects him. You need to open up a dialogue with him and tell him what your concerns are. Try mediation if that helps the communication. If you can trust your ex to protect your son during the day, overnight contact should not be an issue. Does your son enjoy the contact? If he feels cold perhaps give him more clothing so that he is more comfortable. If your son enjoys the contact, you may want to agree to an overnight contact session and see how it goes after you have had some reassurances from your ex. Your ex must be enjoying the contact with your son to want him overnight. Do you think that there is an ulterior motive? You may want to give it a go and see how your son deals with it. Find out the sleeping arrangements to make sure that your ex is within earshot if there is a problem. This may be good for your son providing that your concerns are addressed. Talk to your ex calmly and ask for some reassurances.

Best Regards

Harjit

A. Hi there

No you would not be violating the law by moving to another city in England unless there is a court order preventing you from doing so. If your Partner has parental responsibility for your child (if his name is on the birth certificate and born after 1.12.2003 ) then you will need his consent to move aboard. Not having consent from him or the court is child abduction.

Your Partner may apply to the court for an order to prevent you moving to another city in England or, apply for an order for you to return. The court can find your address from the authorities and summons you to court. Unless there is a risk of harm, you should try to discuss the move with him and agree on a contact arrangement because it is your child’s right to maintain a relationship with father unless doing so puts him/her at risk of harm.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Your question below really needs a Family lawyer - but for what it's worth.

Renting a 2 bedroom flat near your ex-matrimonial house, you could claim Local Housing Allowance (LHA) BUT this is a means-tested benefit and seriously 'capped' in terms of rent allowed and number of bedrooms allowed. I doubt you would be allowed LHA for a 2 bedroom because your primary need is only for a 1 bedroom.

However you should check this out with your local CAB / council. Ask them how much (if anything) you might be entitled to.


Good luck

Richard Paris

A. Hi there

I totally understand your frustration but a change can be made. There are two options for your boyfriend. Give in to her demands for money and have the same issues going forward with the demands getting larger and larger or, firmly reject her demands and insist upon the contact remaining intact. Should she withdraw the contact, he should see a solicitor to try and get it re instated asap. If she is as you describe, ‘a lady who enjoys her drink’ she may appreciate the weekends free and change her mind in time. Do retain those threatening text messages for the court to see in the event that an application is required. Don’t be bullied and put the interests of the child first. If she is genuinely short of cash for the child, offer to buy him something. Why is she being like this to him? Probably because she can.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

No you don’t have to deal with him directly. His solicitor should have holiday cover if the issue cannot wait until his return. You may want to respond to his lawyers rather than him directly.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

A. Hi there

It must be difficult for him to be so far away from his daughter and the very thought of being with her must make him want to say that he wants contact for the whole week! This is only natural and a good sign. The fact that he may get stressed after a few days is relevant but perhaps a better way of dealing with it would be to say ‘Yes of course you may see her as much as you want and I am only a phone call away if things get difficult’. At least that way, he has free contact and will feel comfortable approaching you when things do get tough. If you tell him ‘no’ because it’s too much for her, he may not feel so comfortable approaching you to avoid the big ‘I told you so’ issue. There is nothing stopping you phoning to see how she is but I hope the relationship is such that you trust him to call you if things get tough. If you are not approachable, he won’t call you. You may want to relay your concerns in a tactful manner but again just saying ‘ I recall last time she found it hard, do ring me if you need help or a break’.

I was interested to read that ‘she doesn’t really know him’. You may want to tell her things about him and think about phone or letter/picture contact whilst her father is away so that she has something to look forward to and knows who daddy is?

I hope that helps.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law



BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

It is nice to hear that she wishes to spend more time with your son. If he enjoys contact and wants to go midweek, perhaps there is a way in which you can approach your ex to discuss your concerns about the school run and him being a ‘latch key kid’ to use your words. It is always advisable to try and keep the communication between you and your ex as easy as possible. Try dealing with issues in a non confrontational way and discuss concerns with suggested alternatives rather than ultimatums. I hope that you can reach an agreement that suits you both but importantly one that leaves your son benefitting from a great relationship with both of his parents. Sometimes, being in mom or dad’s home environment is as comforting as being with them.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

I am sorry to hear about your situation. You may have been disadvantaged by not having legal representations but at least it is granted now. I regret that I cannot offer you an opinion without knowing the facts of your case however, what I can say is that you should be in a better position to put your case forward and deal with any misconceptions now that you have representation. Good luck.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

http://bestsolicitorsllp.wordpress.com/

A. Hi there

If you are uncomfortable with your daughter sleeping with her father, suggest that she have a little blow up bed to sleep on.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

I am sorry that social services cannot assist you further. It is your duty to protect your daughter from the risk of harm. Indeed what you are describing is an atmosphere that may be causing your daughter harm. If you are confident in your views, you may write to your ex or, her representative and explain what you feel the risks are and what your expectations are for contact to take place. If there is no co operation and no change for the better, you may wish to consider changing contact. How does your daughter feel about the contact? Does she enjoy it? Is there a way in which contact can take place without the harmful factors? You need to balance your daughter’s right to have contact with her mother against the need to be protected from the risk of harm.

I hope that helps

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

If you are satisfied that it is in your son’s best interests to live with you because he is at real risk of harm with his mother then, you have a duty to protect him which may justify keeping him with you. If your son’s mother disagrees, you may attend mediation to discuss your concerns or apply to the court for a residence order. The court will investigate your concerns and if the court agrees that your son is at risk of harm whilst in mother’s care, an order may be made in your favour (Residence Order). You may want to discuss this with your son’s mother and give her an opportunity to address your concerns. It may be that she can give you reassurances. However, in the event that she does not co operate, a court application may be the only way forward. You should think about contact between your son and his mother as much as possible so that the relationship is maintained.

I hope that helps.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law


BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there
You have had a lot to deal with. It is admirable that you are proactively trying to involve your child’s father at this stage. It does not sound as though he is interested as yet but this may change when the baby arrives. Paying for a child does not give an automatic right to contact. Contact is the right of the child. The child will have the right to establish and maintain a relationship with his/her father if it is in their best interests to do so unless there is a risk of harm. This is the case whether they pay maintenance or not. It does not sound as though you can make any judgements at this stage. When the child is born, wait and see what contact father wants and take it from there. The contact will need to be at a level that is best for the child. Initially, the child will be bonding with you and you may be feeding on demand making contact limited to short visits. I advise that you concentrate on bonding with your child and wait for him to request contact as and when he feels that he can deal with it. You may thereafter, offer whatever contact you feel is suitable for your child.

Good luck

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

A. Hi
Contact must be for the benefit of your daughter. If she is stating clearly that she does not wish to go, one must explore her reasons. It must be difficult for father to miss his contact and it will assist him to understand and co operate if he knows why contact is being rejected. It is not appropriate to ask your daughter directly but if there is a way to encourage her to tell you why she is unhappy with Daddy, then that would be a starting point. Perhaps then you could both work together to address her concerns. She may be bored, she may feel left out, she may be uncomfortable. Many things can be addressed and the relationship saved. If the matter proceeds to court, a children’s officer will speak to your daughter and try to ascertain her feelings. The court would then direct an appropriate way to proceed. It may be that she is too young to articulate her feelings, in which case the children’s officer will recommend the best way forward. Essentially, if you can attend mediation and try to work this out together in the best interests of your daughter, you may be able to fix it. In the meantime, I agree that if she does not want to go, she should not be forced. Perhaps you can try to find a way for her to communicate her feelings to you so that you can work with her father to make contact more enjoyable.

I hope that helps

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

A. Hi there

If there are concerns, you should try and communicate with the mother about those concerns. If your children are on the child protection register, you should liaise with the relevant social worker and try to get the concerns addressed. If there is a court order in place stating that the children should be returned to mother, you need to get a solicitor to write to her and communicate why you feel that you cannot return them and ultimately, get a court order securing residence with you if that is what is best for the children. The court will need to investigate concerns and make a decision.

Ultimately, your duty is to protect the children from the risk of harm balancing it with their right to have contact with their mother.

Hope that helps.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law



BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

You must be very disappointed, not only from a trust point of view but a safety point of view. An 8 year old cannot ensure the safety of a 4 yr old. The fact that your son has been told not to tell you makes this worse. It is wrong for your ex to put your son in a position where he is having to keep things from you. That is a huge burden for a little boy. My view is that you should tactfully approach this with your ex and explain how you feel about the safety issue and the ‘keeping secrets’ issue. Try not to start off confrontational because you just want to get the facts before you give an opinion. It may be that your son is not totally correct about what happened. It may be that your ex made some arrangements about their security without your son knowing. If your son is correct, you will need to explain the risks to your ex and hope that he acknowledges his mistakes. If he does not, I would think again before consenting to a holiday.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law

A. Hi

Congratulations. I advise that you contact an immigration solicitor for some advice on your sister’s immigration status before and after the birth.

I’m sorry that I cannot assist further.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

If you have parental responsibility for your daughter (if you are on her birth certificate as father and she was born after 1st December 2003) you have the right to share in the important decision making such as schools and names etc. That doesn’t necessarily mean that she needs your consent but at the very least, she should keep you informed. You may approach the nursery and satisfy them that you have parental responsibility for emergencies and key information on development. Your ex should consent to this. The nursery are not permitted to divulge any information to you and may still refuse to assist unless your ex gives them permission. At that point, you may want to get a solicitor to write a letter to the nursery confirming your legal position.

Alternatively, ask you ex partner or consider attending mediation to discuss what issues should be decided jointly.

Hope that helps

A. Hi there

I’m sorry to hear that. The first step is to try and discuss it with your ex directly. If she will not consent consider mediation services. Mediation is where you both meet with an independent third party who will assist you reach an agreement. If mediation is not accepted or workable you may need to instruct a solicitor to try and get to the bottom of why contact has been withdrawn. Your daughter has the right to have contact with you unless doing so may put her at risk of harm. If your ex will not co operate, your other option is to apply to the court for a contact order. The court will appoint an independent third party (cafcass officer) to prepare a report and recommend whether contact should take place and if so, how much and how frequently. The officer may also be asked to investigate any allegations against you. That is the procedure very generally. You need advice from your local solicitor if speaking to your ex does not work.

Best of luck

Harjit

A. Have I read this correctly? Exposed to drugs and drug users, left unattended at parties and in pubs where drugs may be readily available, left alone with a 12 year old to babysit? I am so sorry to hear that you are having to deal with this. Ultimately, your role as parent is to ensure that the children are free from the risks of harm. If you know that this is what he is putting them through, you should protect your children by not sending them. Your ex needs to acknowledge that what he is doing is incorrect. Until he understands why his behaviour is wrong and most importantly, until he realises why the environment that you have described is so harmful to the children, in my view, he is not fit to have contact.

I advise that you immediately communicate this to him formally through solicitors and protect your children from the risk of harm.

Good luck.

A. This is a very difficult situation for you and I admire what you have done so far. It is great that consider your daughter’s relationship with her father as an important one. You are correct that she needs to have a relationship with him if it is in her best interests to do so and, if it is not causing her any harm. It may be that having too little contact is causing her some emotional harm but this will need to be investigated by a professional. It sounds like she is longing for a father figure in her life if she is calling other men ‘Dadda’.

The way forward is to try and open up communications so that you can inform him of your feelings and the impact that short contact is having on your daughter. Have you tried mediation somewhere in the middle of where you both live?

It is not so much the amount of contact that matters, but the quality of the contact. Perhaps write to his solicitors setting out your concerns and suggest ways in which he may have more contact. Perhaps you could meet half way so that travelling for contact is not so difficult. Maybe telephone or skype contact starting off once a week and then increased in line with your daughter’s needs and wishes. Letters and phone calls are really helpful where a father is far away. Your daughter may enjoy expressing herself in a picture or a letter in her own time and, in her own way.

A father cannot be forced to see his children because he may resent it which ultimately effects the children. The best you can do is explain to him how you feel. Explain how too little contact is impacting upon your daughter. Then perhaps suggest ways to increase it. If he is not agreeable then I suggest that you seek some advice from a professional as to how to deal with this issue so that your daughter does not feel unloved or abandoned by her father.

Good luck.

A. You are correct to be concerned about this. It would be helpful to know what the issues are. However, it cannot be easy to see your son suffer and be let down. It is so important for the children to maintain a relationship with both parents unless doing so puts them at risk of harm. To justify excluding father from his life, it must be a serious issue. Children are resilient and forgive things like lateness and you could help him deal with that. Is the quality of the contact good when he does see his father? Think ahead because when your son is older, he will want to know why he was prevented from seeing his father. What will you tell him? Will he resent you for it? My advice is that you discuss the issues with his father. If you do not have dialogue, perhaps you could write him a letter or an e-mail setting out exactly what he is doing and the effect that it is having on your son. If he ignores you and continues then you may want to tell him that you are seriously thinking about withdrawing contact in the best interests of your son and see your solicitor for a formal letter to be written.
You should assess whether the harm being suffered justifies the greater long term harm of not having a relationship with his father. If you can find a way to effectively communicate with his father perhaps you can work together to ensure that your son benefits from a relationship with both of you.

Good luck
Best Regards
Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. I presume that you have parental responsibility for your son (due to his age and presumption that you are on the birth certificate as his father). You seem to be aware that removing your son from the jurisdiction without his mother’s consent is child abduction which is a criminal offence. You are also aware that if you do not get consent, the only option would be a ‘specific issues’ application.

If he is only 3 and has never been abroad before, I suspect that her refusal is based on concern rather than your ability to care.

The destination that you have chosen is not long haul, it is not unsafe. I took my son to Europe when he was two and he loved the experience but, there were two of us with him. I expect that your ex is more concerned about the logistics. How will he cope with the flight, will you ever leave him unattended or with untrustworthy

1 How will you handle him at the airport if it’s busy, if there are delays, queues etc (take food, drink, buy him a book/toy at the airport to prevent boredom). Take a small amount of luggage or just one big case that is easy to check in. What about a light pushchair that you can take to the aircraft if he gets tired? Keep him with you at all times and put a name card in his pocket. Put something distinctive on him such as a bright coloured cap.

2 Take distractions for the aircraft, lollypops and a drink for takeoff and landing. Tell an attendant to watch him when you go to the bathroom on flight or go beforehand.

3 Some people are comfortable using crèche facilities etc abroad. Are these staff checked thoroughly etc, one can never be sure.

4 Is he sleeping in the same room as you, is the room child friendly with a very high balcony wall etc

5 What will you do in the evenings? Spain is great for children and routines can be changed such that you both have a siesta in the afternoon so that he can dine out with you in the evening rather than you getting a sitter.

I have listed things that I would want to know about as a mother, you may add to the list. It’s really to give you an idea of what her fears may be. The long and short of it is to keep him safe and with you at all times. Perhaps agree to give her a phone call when you get there and just for 5 mins at the end of each day so that she is reassured. It is understandable for her to be nervous.

In my view, if you can satisfy the court that there are no welfare issues i.e. no concerns about your son’s health and safety whilst he is under your care, there should be no reason to refuse your application. You should advance full details of the holiday including hotel address and phone number together with a copy of the return ticket for reassurance in the event that there is an allegation that you may not return him from Spain.

Essentially, if you provide reassurances and address all of her concerns in writing, in my view, the court will give you permission to take him away. I hope that she agrees and that you have a wonderful holiday. Just never ever leave him unattended.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law



BEST Solicitors LLP









carers etc. These are all natural concerns for a mother and father. You may want to give her all of the reassurances that she needs to show her that you have really thought it through. Preferably in writing, perhaps deal with the following issues:-

A. Hi there, thank you for your question.

If your ex is named on the birth certificate as father, it is likely that he has parental responsibility if she was born after December 2003. Contact rights are the rights of your child. Unless she is at risk of suffering any harm, she has the right to get to know her father. It is positive that your ex has requested to see her for a few hours at the weekend. It is not a huge amount of time and I note that your only concern seems to be that your daughter may not be returned to you. Your daughter is still quite young and the fact is that if possible, it is better for you to work with your ex to ensure that your daughter benefits from a relationship with each of you. If you can learn to trust and work with each other now, you will see the benefits.

I am not sure where your fear of non return comes from. Is it something that he has said or threatened? The only way to secure a return is by way of a court order (residence order). This order if granted will state that your daughter is to reside with you.

If there have been no threats, you may wish to extend some trust and give him the benefit of the doubt. You may be surprised. You may wish to speak to him beforehand and explain your fears in a non accusatory manner to seek a reassurance perhaps.

I hope that contact works out for the benefit of your daughter. Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

If your ex is a family lawyer, he should know what he can and cannot do as regards holidays. If you have a sole residence order in your favour, you may take your child abroad without his consent for up to a month. However, you may be aware that he should not remove your child from the jurisdiction without your consent or a court order because doing so would be child abduction. I assume that he knows that if he is a family lawyer.

If he is staying in the country, he does not need the passport and therefore you should retain it. You may also want to notify the passport office that you have a sole residence order in the event that he tries to get a duplicate made.

This is about trust and communication. It is unfortunate that he won't share a basic and essential piece of information with you. If only for emergencies, it is perfectly understandable to want to know where your child is unless, there is a danger of you attending and harassing him or such like.

I don't think it is asking much to want to know where he is staying with a contact number for emergencies. Equally, you will need to extend the same information if and when you go away with your child.

Hope that helps.

Best regards,

Harjit Sarang

A. Hi there

If you want to ensure that your child is not removed from your care, you need to apply to the court for a Residence Order. If granted, this order will state that the child must live with you. If your ex has the habits that you are reporting, this will not be difficult. You may also want to see contact restricted to supervised only, to ensure as much safety for the child as possible.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law


BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

Are you sure that you don’t have parental responsibility? Were you named on the birth certificate? Do check this. If you do not have parental responsibility already, you may obtain it by way of a court order or by her agreement. If she is not being cooperative now, she may not agree straight away. I suggest that you ask your solicitor to write to her and if she still does not agree, you should apply to the court for a parental responsibility order.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law


BEST Solicitors LLP

A.

Hi





Parental responsibility is the legal obligation and duty that you have to a child. Where a mother and father share parental responsibility, they should discuss and agree important issues such as a christening. If you were married when your daughter was born, it is likely that you have parental responsibility. If you were not married, it depends on whether you are named on the birth certificate or, if you were given parental responsibility by a court order or your ex’s agreement. Parental responsibility aside, it is not an absolute right for you to be informed about the christening and your ex is not breaking the law by not seeking your approval. I can’t comment on what is required by the church. Your ex should think about how she would feel if you did a similar thing for your daughter without discussing it with her. Where possible you need to agree things together but it is not always possible depending on how your relationship has developed since your separation. Sometimes, it is not possible to communicate and therefore decisions have to be made without consultation. Let’s look at this from the point of view of the child. Is it contrary to her best interests to be christened? If not, at least you got an invite. I agree that it is not ideal. I advise that you dis

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP
http://bestsolicitorsllp.wordpress.com/
cuss this and future important decision making with your ex so that you are not in the same situation again.

A. Hello

Assuming that he is smoking such substances, your first step would be to inform him that you are concerned about the impact that this is having on the children. If he does not listen or if he denies what you believe to be the truth, then you may approach your solicitor for further advice. The court may order a drugs test within proceedings if he denies the allegation. Without court proceedings, your solicitor may invite him to take a test before further contact is agreed by you. If he refuses, you may wish to apply to the court.

Best Regards
Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law


BEST Solicitors LLP

http://bestsolicitorsllp.wordpress.com/

A. Hello

As far as I am aware, you can apply for a passport as you have parental responsibility of your son provided that, there has not been a court order regarding passports. You will need to complete the form to declare that you are not aware of the father’s address.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hello





I am sorry to hear that your ex Partner has not been able to see his daughter during her minority. Now that she is 19, she is capable of making her own decisions but you must be conscious of her feelings if she has no idea about her real father. She may have gone through life thinking that somebody else is her father and news to the contrary may devastate her. Yes, she has a right to know the truth but how you deliver that news is so important. You want to avoid disrupting her life or even alienating her if you approach this all guns blazing. You are correct to consider the initial approach very carefully. My suggestion is that your ex try to contact her mother again. Explain why he wants to contact his daughter and invite an explanation as to what your ex’s daughter has been told about who her father is. At that point you will be in a better position to decide how to progress and you may even have mother’s co operation.





Good luck.

A. Hi

Thank you for your question. You have done well to facilitate contact as much as you have been doing. It demonstrates your ability to put your son’s interests first. It sounds as though your son has a good relationship with his daddy and looks forward to being with him. The fact that he has been having contact with him for 10 months and wants more is a good sign. The consistency of the contact demonstrates his commitment to your son. Perhaps he is requesting more valuable contact so that he can increase the bond between them.

I assume from your question that you have been present during this contact and now your ex and his girlfriend prefer for you not to be there or, that he has been having contact without his girlfriend being present? In any event, it seems as though your son is comfortable in the company of his father. Any decision that you make must be in the best interest of your son. He has the right to maintain this relationship with his father unless doing so puts him at risk of harm.

You say that you want your ex to be alone with your son, which shows that you trust him and have no concerns about his ability to care for your son. Perhaps this trust should be extended to trusting him to protect your son from any risk of harm that you feel your son may come to in the company of his girlfriend. I presume that your concern is not so much the safety of your son but, the confusion it may cause him to see Daddy and his new girlfriend. I advise that you speak to your ex about how this relationship can be explained to your son if you feel that it needs to be explained at all. I suspect that this will not be too difficult for your son to accept because you have lived apart for so long and because of his age.

Essentially, you may want to explain why you find this new contact proposal unacceptable and work together to agree on contact that is not restrictive for your ex and remains beneficial for your son. Ultimately, this is about trusting your ex in the same way that your ex trusts you with any new relationships that you may have had over the past 3 years or will have in future.

I hope that helps.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

Thank you for your question. Whilst the process of seeking the return of your daughter must have been very stressful, I am pleased for you that the result is good news. Regarding the christening, if you have the available funds to apply to the court for an urgent Prohibited Steps Order to prevent the christening taking place in the US, the onus will be on you to show that it is in your child’s best interests to be christened in the UK and not in the US. Your reasons would need to include how important the event is to you and your family, the fact that your family are in this country where your daughter will reside and last but not least, the fact that it is such a major event that it would be unfair on the child for it to take place in your absence. It would also assist if you could show that you would invite your ex to the christening in the UK and therefore asking to postpone the christening is not an attempt to exclude her from the occasion. What the court decides is a gamble I’m afraid. Some Judges may frown upon your ex proceeding with such a big occasion in your absence and without your consent whilst other Judges may just expect you to make alternative arrangements if you cannot attend.

Forgive me for asking but is it possible to have two christenings? If it is, you may want to do nothing about the event in the US and have a separate and big occasion in the UK.

Best regards

A. Hi

It is interesting to note that you have not seen any of the signs in your son that his mother is claiming to see. It is the case that children are different with each adult depending on how they feel around them. I would be interested to hear what the symptoms are that mother claims he is displaying, and then perhaps it would be useful to explore why he behaves differently in mother’s company.

If the assessments are repeated despite the first expert saying that he is free of autism symptoms, there is arguably a risk that your child is being harmed emotionally and / or psychologically by the process. Indeed, if your opinion on why the assessment is being carried out is correct, you may wish to apply to the court for a prohibited steps order that no further assessments take place without your consent other than routine, scheduled medical assessments for his development.

I don’t know much about autism except that there are many variations and a whole spectrum of symptoms that vary in seriousness. I do not think that she will receive benefits with a short general diagnosis.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner and Head of Family Law


BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

If the court has ordered a drugs test, it is normal accompanied by a date for the test or even dates if the tests are to be at frequent intervals. If not date is specified, you should contact the court or your solicitor for clarification because any delay may affect the results.

Best regards
Harjit Sarang

A. Hi

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Social services uses its own checklist and criteria when deciding whether or not to intervene. If you feel that the children are at risk of harm and that the only way that they can be safe is by living with you, you should consider applying to the court for an urgent residence order. If the court is satisfied that the children are at risk of harm either by being involved with the drug distribution or even by being in that environment, an order should be made in your favour. If the residence order is made in your favour, the children should live with you. The court may also see fit to impose conditions upon your ex partner having contact with the children. You will need to make some sensible suggestions in that regard.

If the matter is urgent, you may apply to the court at short notice for a residence order to be made on the same day.

I hope that helps.
Best regards,
Harjit Sarang

A. Hi there

It rather depends on whether his father has parental responsibility. Father would have this if your son was born after December 2003 and his name is on the birth certificate. If he has parental responsibility, you need his permission to change your son's surname. If permission is not forthcoming, you need to apply to the court for permission to change the surname.
Whether you are successful depends on whether your son has a relationship with his father, whether there are any welfare / risk issues, what is best for your son and the dynamics of your family unit. I have to say that it is not an easy thing to do if your son has a maintained relationship with his father.


Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi Samantha

Contact is the right of your son. If you feel that it is in his best interests to maintain a relationship with your ex's parents then you should decide what level is appropriate. What you have suggested sounds absolutely fine. Continue to be led by your son and credit to you for acepting that your son has a right to get to know his grandparents providing that doing so is not putting him at risk of any harm.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

It is only natural for you to be concerned about leaving your 7 month old with her father when he has not been in her life so far. As his name is not on the birth certificate and you were never married, he does not have parental responsibility for her. Parental responsibility is a legal duty and obligation towards the child. It means that he should be involved in all of the major decision making in her life. It also means that you need each other's consent to go abroad or change names etc. If he applies to the court for Parental Responsibility it is likely to be granted because the threshold is quite low.

If your ex is applying to have contact and you have concerns about her welfare or safety whilst in his care, you should alert the court. My view is that if there are no welfare issues, it is likely that the court will order contact starting off for a short period and supervised. Whether the contact can be supervised by you, needs to be looked at. If there is noticeable hostility between you, this may not be beneficial for your daughter because children pick up on hostility. If he is serious about being in your daughter's life, this could work out well for her. She will have a relationship with mother and father.

The contact will be reviewed and if the court feels that contact is in the best interests of your daughter, it will increase it slowly until eventually contact is unsupervised. I will stress that he will need to demonstrate a commitment by attending each session. Most importantly, the court will only order contact if satisfied that it is in the best interests of your daughter. To assess this, the court will appoint a cafcass officer to prepare a report. The officer will speak to you and monitor some contact sessions in order to give some feedback and to give an opinion to the court.
You are advised to work with the cafcass officer who should listen to your concerns and opinions about contact.

Your reservations are that he hasn't been interested so far, he doesn't know her, nor does he know how to look after her. In my view, the court will want to look at what his intentions are. If he can satisfy the court that he is committed to contact, he will be given an opportunity to make it work providing that your daughter is not at risk of harm and that it is in her best interests to have a relationship with her father. As for not knowing how to look after her, perhaps you could write a few things down for him based on what you know or think would help? Children don't come with manuals, we all learn on the job!

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

http://bestsolicitorsllp.wordpress.com/

A. Hi

You are correct to be concerned. If your daughter is having unsupervised contact with her father and you strongly suspect that he is using drugs, you are not being unreasonable by asking for a drugs test. If he is taking drugs it directly impacts upon his ability to provide a safe environment.
I am sorry to hear that your solicitor is not being supportive, perhaps tell them how you feel or file a complaint? If you still feel that you are not being represented fairly, consider changing solicitors. Essentially, you as parent have the duty to ensure that your daughter is safe and well. If you have any suspicions that she is at risk of harm with her father, you need to bring that to the urgent attention of the court and make sure that it is addressed. If your current solicitor is not doing this, your should arranage a meeting to explain you disatisfaction. If there is a court
order that he do a drugs test, ask your solicitor about terminating contact until he has done it or apply to enforce the order. You need to assess whether having no contact with father is as harmful as having contact with
father when he is intoxicated.

I hope that you get some cooperation. Credit to you for not being bullied.


Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law

A. Hi

It would be useful to know how old your son is and whether he enjoys contact when father is there. Generally, what is his relationship with the 'step children' and soon to be'step mom'? The short answer to your question is that if she is being mean to your son and he is getting upset, contact is possibly not in his best interests. Also, if it continues, father is in danger of your son not wanting contact to continue at all. I would agree with you that the most important thing is for father to be present. Whilst it is important to have contact with father and his new family, the important thing is enjoying contact. If your son is distressed and does not wish to attend, father needs to address this as soon as possible.

Threatening to withdraw contact and imposing conditions is perhaps not the correct approach. Try to discuss your son's unhappiness with father and ask that he address it with his new Partner. If he knows that his son is unhappy, he may do something about it himself. In the event that he
doesn't, I don't think you are unreasonable.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

Regarding contact - Consider using mediation services to find out why contact has broken down. If mediation is not a possibility, you may want to
instruct a solicitor to write to her to get some answers. Depending on her
reasons for withdrawing contact, you will be advised further and may need to apply to the court for a Contact Order. Contact will be granted if after investigation, the court finds that maintaining a relationship with father is in the best interests of the children. The court will need to know why she has stopped contact and why she refuses to reintroduce it.

I agree that terminating contact without any reason and not informing you is very unreasonable. As for mother leaving the children with her parents whilst she goes out, one would need to investigate this to see if the children were at any risk of harm. If it is simply a case of the children spending quality time with grandparents whilst tired mommy has a break to
socialise, this is not something that the court will frown upon. I agree
that using the children as pawns is not acceptable. They need to maintain healthy relationships with both parents unless they are being put at risk of harm. If mother has any allegations against father, the onus will be on her
to prove them. That brings me on to the name change. If father has
parental responsibility, his consent must be obtained to change the name.
Father may write to mother objecting to the name change at this point and ask her to change it back. If she refuses, he may apply to the court for a Specific Issues order asking that she change the name back to his surname.
The court is likely to make this order if satisfied that it is in the children's best interests to retain the surname. The wishes and feelings of the children will be taken into consideration as will mother's reasons for wanting to change the name. My view is that if the children have a relationship with father, and mother has not remarried or had more children, father's application has good merit.

Best regards,

Harjit Sarang


Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

I am presuming that he is taking you to court for 'contact' with the children because there is a disagreement. Have you tried mediation services to talk about your concerns? Certainly, at the start of any court case, you will be given the opportunity to have a conciliation meeting where your concerns can be relayed at an early stage.

For now, if you are not comfortable permitting contact because of the fear of father removing the children from you care and not returning them to you, you may state this and invite the court to make a Residence Order in your favour. The Residence Order will confirm that the children live with you and therefore, if father ever refuses to return them to you, the police should assist once they have seen the order. If you fear that the risk of removal is more than 'not returning them at an agreed time', you may consider a Prohibited Steps Order. This is an order preventing father from removing the children from your care unless there is a prior agreement or court order permitting him to do so. The court will only make an order if necessary and therefore, you will need to explain why you have this fear.
Always ensure that you are considering what is best for the children when making your decisions.

Don't be threatened or bullied into agreeing contact periods that you are not comfortable with. You need to be able to communicate your concerns and wait until they have been appropriately addressed so that you have some re assurance as required.

I hope that helps.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

It is difficult to make arrangements with people that we do not get along with. It is unfortunate that there is hostility between you but you are right to rise above it for as long as contact is in the best interests of your daughter.

As father shares parental responsibility with you, you should keep him in the loop on all milestones and important things in your daughter's life.
Imagine being in his shoes. Would you like to know if your daughter is being christened? You will not be breaking any laws if you do not tell him but you will be setting a precedent that he may follow. When your daughter is in his care, he may arrange important things and not care to inform you.
Informing him of the christening is not an open invitation for him to be involved or even invited, that is your decision.

Regarding passports, you may apply for one as you have parental responsibility. It is always advisable to inform the passport office that you have separated if there is a risk of your ex obtaining another passport and attempting to take your child abroad.

Happy new year

A. Hi

I'm sorry to hear about this. I understand that your daughter's father's name is registered on the birth certificate which means that he has Parental Responsibility for her. This is the right and duty to make important decisions in her life and generally be involved providing that his actions are in your daughter's best interests. Contact is the right of your daughter but it is your parental duty to ensure that she is healthy, happy and safe. If you feel that the current contact is not in her best interests because 1) it is not regular and consistent and / or 2) she is at risk of harm, then you are acting reasonably and within your parental duty to restrict the contact. How you do so needs to be addressed because you do not want to put yourself at risk of harm. If you cannot speak to your ex (perhaps because you are afraid of his reaction), then write him a letter or instruct a solicitor to do it for you. Until your issues are addressed, you are not being unreasonable by restricting contact. Your daughter's best interests must come first and if she is unhappy at the moment, changes need to be made. If he does not talk to you or be reasonable, he may apply to the court for a contact order. However, you will have the opportunity to object to the application and say no to contact until all of the issues have been examined by the professionals.

Hope that helps.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. If the father's name is registered on the birth certificate of the three year old then he has parental responsibility for him. Parental responsibility is the legal right and duty to be involved in the child's life including decision making. Not being married does not give your friend the right to say no. Being a parent and having a duty to protect her son gives her the right to say no. They share parental responsibility and therefore have equal rights to make the decisions. Has mother said why she
will not permit overnight contact at the parent's address? Is the child at risk of harm at his grandparents? Does your friend have any objections to the Grandparents seeing their son during the daytime? During this time, children need a sense of family around them unless there is a risk of harm.
If father is having limited contact and is sharing that with his family is that not good for their son? If Grandparents are not getting any contact, they may make their own application to the court.

If possible, both parents needs to talk about how much contact would be in their son's best interests, how much does he need to maintain his relationship with father and his family. Have they considered mediation?
Is there a third party who could mediate between them? Really, contact should be as much as their son needs providing it is in his best interests.
One night a week does not seem too much if he is a good father and there are no risks of harm. Does it matter where they are as long as they are together and father is taking good care of him? When the baby comes along, your friend may welcome it!

Best Regards

A. As the main carer for the children you need to act in their best interests.
How do the children feel about the ad hoc contact? Do they feel let down?
Are they made promises that he cannot keep or is it a case of Daddy turning up when he wants to and they all have fun together. You need to weigh up
what the children need. The arrangements also need to be right for you
because you are the main carer. If it is better for you and the children to have fixed times and a routine then I wouldn't hesitate in suggesting that
to him. You are not being unreasonable. Try mediation to agree some times
for regular contact. It is sad that he can disappear for weeks without seeing the children. That must be disappointing for them. Ultimately the question is 'Is it in the children's best interests to see their father?'
It is not easy terminating contact because ad hoc contact for children may still be better than no contact at all. You need to trust your judgement.
If you feel that they are happier not seeing him because they are always being let down then suggest no contact until he cooperates with a contact plan.

Perhaps try giving him some times for contact and telling him that no other dates will be permitted without prior agreement. The difficulty I suspect, is when the children disagree with you because they want to see him.

No maintenance is very frustrating but not a reason to deny contact.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi

It sounds as though you have been doing a stirling job in facilitating contact under these circumstances so far. Your daughter's best interests come first and being kept waiting for so long is unacceptable in particular, outside in public places possibly in cold weather conditions. It also sounds like you still fear for your safety. My advice would be to try and open a dialogue with your ex and his family about the current unacceptable arrangements. If that does not work, consider telling him that you will wait a maximum of 20mins and that if he does not arrive, you will need to take your daughter back home for her own well being. I do not think that this suggestion is unreasonable. Your ex may then consider being a bit more reliable if he is keen on seeing his daughter. Try not to be bullied, if you fear for your safety and prefer for a solicitor to write to him accordingly, please take that option. Safety and well being is paramount.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

Can you change the surname without consent? - No, I'm afraid not. You will need the permission of all those with parental responsibility before making a name change. However, if you do not get consent, you may apply to the court for permission. I agree with you that if the child didn't have your ex's name in the first place it should not make any difference however, there is a difference between having mommy's name and having mommy's Partner's name. The court will need to weigh up whether it is in your child's best interests to have the new surname. For example, are you planning to get married? Do you have any more children who will have the new surname? It will be a balancing exercise between the child's right to retain a link to her father especially as she has an existing relationship with him, versus, the right to feel part of the family unit by sharing the same surname as mother, siblings and possibly new step parent. Double barrelled does sound like a good compromise to save on legal fees and animosity at court.

Can new Partner have PR without ex's consent? - No. Consent is required by all parties with PR. If you get married, your Partner has the option of adopting or applying for a Residence Order both of which will again require ex's consent.

Overnight contact - If there is a disagreement, your ex may apply to the court for contact to be increased. The court will need to assess whether that is in the child's best interests to stay overnight with your ex.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there

If you have a Residence Order for your daughter, you may take her out of the country for up to a month without your wife's permission, otherwise, consent is needed if presumably, your ex still shares Parental Responsibility with you. Strictly, no consent is committing the crime of Child Abduction.

As regards the phone number, I think that you are acting within the realms of reasonableness in refusing to give a number. You are the main carer for your daughter and if there is an emergency, your ex will find out through you. It does seem inappropriate for your ex to be telephoning your current Partner whilst they are on hoiliday, especially considering the history of abuse. I feel that you should be the first point of call for your ex if she has any questions. She needs to trust your ability to ensure that your daughter is well cared for. She also needs to trust that you will communicate with her if there is a problem. As a compromise, you could ask your daughter to phone her mother periodically throughout the holiday to confirm that she is ok? I'm not sure what the relationship is but it's just a suggestion. Your ex is still the mother of your daughter and providing that she means well, you should try to communicate with her to keep relations amicable.

Hope that helps.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there
I regret that I cannot advise about the law in Malta, you will need to find a solicitor who specialises in family law in Malta or better still, contact the Registrar of births in Malta to see if you can dispute the entry. In this country, a mother can enter your name on the certificate without your consent providing that you are married at the time. You can still apply for this to be changed when a paternity test has proven that you are not the father or if there is an agreement by your wife to remove your name as father.
Do telephone or e-mail a lawyer in Malta, your question is simple so you may get a quick free answer over the telephone.
As for the marriage, providing that the ceremony was a legal ceremony in Malta, you can issue divorce proceedings in England based on the fact that you have been separated for 5 years in April 2011. If you wife consents and if you want to move things along, you may even issue a petition based on two years separation straight away.
Best regards,

Harjit Sarang
www.bestsolicitorsllp.co.uk

A. Hi there, I'm not sure whether the couple are married.

If the mother and father are married, mother may attend alone and enter her husband's details as father. From speaking to my local Registrar, I understand that if they are not married, the only way that she would have been able to register him as father would be by providing a statutory declaration from him or a court order declaring his parentage. My advice is for him to attend before the registrar at the office where the birth was registered and ask for details of the registration. Specifically, how did the Registrar satisfy him/herself that father's details could be entered in his absence. If it is the case that a statutory declaration has been forged then perjury may have been committed which is criminal offence carrying penalties. Either way, the first step is to make an appointment to see the Registrar to get it investigated.


Best Regards

A. Hi there

I presume that the contact order stipulates the time of the contact.
Whilst, one needs to be flexible for certain situations, the times should be adhered to. The children need to have a routine and know when to expect Daddy.

Have you told the childminder about the contact times so that she knows what times to make the children available? I know that it puts her in an awkward situation, but if on one occasion she makes clear that she will keep the children until the given time, perhaps he will get the message.
Presumably, the childminder will have them doing activities or it may be meal time. Your ex needs to be encouraged to stick to the terms of the order and call you if he needs to collect the children early for some reason. You will then take a view and let the childminder know if you agree to the change.

One has to remain flexible if other things are planned. Each parent needs to be encouraged to respect the terms of the order because they are put in place for a reason. If he constantly ignores / seeks to change the terms of the order, the court will frown upon him. He needs to show the court that he can put the children's needs first and do what is right for them. Does he bring them back on time? Please keep a diary if he is constantly collecting early and returning late. Sometimes it may be for genuine reasons i.e. if he is stuck in traffic. It's something that you need to
keep an eye on.

I would not say that it is child abduction or kidnapping but he is strictly in breach of the order if times are given. One must always attempt to have some flexibility if possible. You may find that you need him to pick them up early one day? Essentially, the terms of the order should be adhered to unless on the odd ocassion flexibility is needed. Perhaps, ask your
solicitor to contact him if he is continuing to collect early.

Hope that helps.

Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Hi there
The Child Support Agency has it's own regulations on what it considers as forming part of income. Dividends and bonuses do form part of income but I'm not sure about redundancy payments.

I think it depends on whether the redundancy is contractual or statutory. Also whether he took the redundancy voluntarily may also be relavant. As the court order states, you must follow CSA regulations.

The simplest answer to your question is for you to contact the CSA for clarification. Get the details in writing and send them to your ex. If he still refuses to pay, make an appliation to the CSA and it will collect what is due on your behalf. It may be that they will want to see a P60 at the end of the financial year or copy payslips showing the payment received. At that point adjustments to your payment may be made accordingly.

Sorry I can't be more specific!

A. Hi there

Where there are children, the court will always encourage parties to reach a financial settlement so that the children's housing needs are met. If it is financially possible to retain the house for their benefit then this may be done. It rather depends on the size of the matrimonial pot now and in the near future. It also depends on whether the children 'need' to be in that very house and at 2 and 10 months that doesn't seem to be the case. In many one income households, retaining the house is not possible because as you have said, you cannot finance a house for the next 14 years in addition to housing yourself on a single income.

If your wife is working or has the prospect of getting a reasonable income in the next few years and if she can take over the running costs of the house without much assistance from you, it is a possibility. If the house is retained, you would negotiate a share division and a time for you to receive your share. The triggers may include her re marriage, cohabitation,
agreement or the youngest child attaining majority.

If the running costs are too high and there is no prospect of your wife contributing AND if your income/savings position is not such that you can re house reasonably, it's probably not a possibility to retain the house.

Also, if you are looking at 'sharing care' of the children, you too will need somewhere for them to stay overnight with you. The worst case scenario is selling and both renting if there is not enough for two houses. Could she downsize?

Ultimately, financial settlements have to be fair for both parties and provide adequately for the children. Some would say that having somewhere smaller to stay during Mommy time and Daddy time is better than having agreat house with Mommy but a small bedsit with Daddy?

If you don't think that your wife will be amicable then mediation may not be appropriate although you may be surprised. Try and suggest it as a start.
As for telephone advice, phone me or drop me an e-mail!

Best regards

A. I'm not sure whether you mean CAFCASS rather than mediation? CAFCASS are appointed by the court to assist on Children Act applications. They quite often get involved in contact arrangements and help facilitate contact etc.
The only way to overrule a court order is by agreement or by getting another order. Mother has a duty to facilitate contact as per the court order unless doing so puts the children at risk of harm. It does seem incredibly unfair that mother has arranged something on your weekend without prior agreement. If Cafcass are assisting at the contact sessions and are due to report to the court, they can make suggestions about contact. Have they suggested that she make up the missed wknd?

However, at this stage with the holiday presumably being booked, the question for the court will be what is in the best interests of the children. If the holiday will be great fun and productive for them and they want to go, perhaps your contact be on the 4th wknd? Do the children want to go on the holiday? Will they resent you for not being able to go?
Perhaps the court can be invited to make clear that in future contact should take place as per the order and mother should only arrange holidays on her weekends. Also, if contact is missed without good reason, it should be re scheduled especially as it seems so limited. Is mother refusing to re schedule. Do you think this is an attempt to frustrate contact?

I'm not sure what a court application will achieve at this stage if the holiday has been booked and contact can be rescheduled. Can you seek the 'mediators'/cafcass assistance to reschedule the missed weekend so that the children have best of both?

I agree that it's unfair because you too may have made special plans. When next in court, this point should be made clear.

I hope that helps

A. Hi, thank you for the question.

Contact is the right of the child. However, sometimes our children need encouraging to accept what is in their best interests. For example, if he said "Mommy I don't want to go to school", what would you do? You need to assess whether your son is capable of making that decision and why he is making it. Maintaining a relationship with parents is important unless doing so would put you at risk of harm. Not having any contact and ending a relationship is a big decision that will impact on the rest of his life.
Explore why the relationship has broken down and if there is any way of
repairing it with or without support from parenting organisations.

Your ex has a court order which means that the court has decided that contact is in your son's best interests if only for the interim period. If contact does not take place, you need to explain to the court that your son did not want to attend and the reasons that he gave you if any. At this point an independent third party (children and families court officer) may be instructed to report to the court what your sons wishes and feeling are.
He/she will try to find out why your son is rejecting father and explore ways to make changes if possible. The older your son is, the easier this
will be.

Essentially, if you believe that your son has real concerns and reservations, you need to protect him and ask that the concerns be addressed before contact takes place. Your role is to facilitate contact where it is in your son's best interest to do so. I think at this stage you need to alert father and the court of the situation. Father may be able to address the concerns or, the matter returned to court for the court to investigate and order as appropriate. If possible, work together to address the issue.


Best Regards

Harjit Sarang, Partner Family Law
BEST Solicitors LLP

A. Thank you for your question. If your Partner's name is registered on the birth certificate, he has parental responsibility. Parental responsibility includes legal obligations and duties in respect of the child. He has the right to be involved in the child's life including important decision making on schools, religion, surname etc. If his name is not on the birth certificate, he can obtain parental responsibility by mother's agreement or court order. He will need to show a commitment to the child and it must be in the child's best interests. Parental responsibility does not give him any 'automatic rights' to have contact but it should be considered if he wants to be involved in her life.

Specifically regarding contact, the child has the right to have a relationship with her father unless doing so will put her at risk of harm.
If mother is not being co operative, try inviting her to mediation services.
If she refuses to attend, I regret that the only other option is to apply to the court for a contact order. The court will appoint a CAFCASS (children and welfare officer) who will initially try to help them reach an agreement about contact (conciliation appointment) and if no agreement can be reached, investigate the issues to make a recommendation to the court as to what contact should take place.

Unless there are allegations against your Partner that put the child at risk of harm, I cannot see why contact would be refused.

To summarise, invite mother to discuss contact. If she refuses, try and find out her reasons and address them if possible. If there is no progress, apply to the court for a contact order.

Hope that helps.

Best regards

Harjit

A. Hello

You must be given credit for putting your son first. You have tried to make a sensible suggestion to address the issue and it has been rejected.
The way forward would be to invite mother to mediation to try and reach an agreement or failing that, apply to the court for an order that your son live with you. A Residence Order. Importantly, part of the court process is to investigate what the current problem is and how it can best be addressed to make life better for your son. What do the schools say? If it is the case that he is misbehaving as a direct result of mother's parenting then, you stand a good chance of succeeding because the court will make whichever order is necessary to safeguard your son's best interests. It may be that mother needs parenting assistance in which case that will be explored in the court arena. If mother can turn things around with assistance, would that be preferable than a change of residence? Just a thought. If it is the case that mother is neglecting your son, then residence to you is probably the best option. It would be interesting to know what your son's opinion of all of this is considering his age and understanding.

Best regards

A. Hello

Any decision made by the court on a child related matter should be based on what is in the best interests of the child.

Shared care does not have to be 50:50. It is whatever is logistically possible and better for the children. Some children have holidays with one parent and term time with another parent because they live too far apart and schooling would not allow anything else. This is a form of 'shared care'.
If you live close to each other, it would be easier to have more time and possibly a 50:50 shared care arrangement. However, amongst other things detailed in the 'welfare checklist', the court will have to consider the age of the children, the distance between you from a commuting point of view and any disruption for the children in doing that commute regularly. All of this is weighed up against their right to maintain a relationship with you.
I would also point out that when considering one's ability to parent, the court will also assess the willingness to facilitate contact with the other parent. In that regard, the court should be asked to assess mother's reasons for moving so far away (if indeed she does go) and her reluctance to
allow more contact. You may want to consider asking the court to make a
prohibited steps order preventing mother from moving before a decision is made on residence. Once a parent moves with a child, it is difficult (but not impossible) for the court to make an order for them to return. I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis and prognosis but perhaps that is a reason to live close by and support one another. I am sure you agree that it would ultimately be better for the children if you had a good relationship and managed parenting together. Perhaps you could consider mediation services?

As said, if you are both pretty equal in terms of capability to parent and live close enough, there is no reason why shared care cannot be an option.
Good luck.

A. If you believe that contact is in your daughter's best interests, your obligation is to facilitate it. That means, make your daughter available for the session. This obligation does not extend to providing accommodation. Can he not take her out for a few hours? There are plenty of things to do with a 5 yr old and because contact is so infrequent, a few hours out somewhere nice will make her feel special.

With regards to the quality of contact, it is sad that father is not seeing her more frequently and needs to be encouraged to maintain the relationship. Life may be tricky with a new wife and newborn but the reasons given by him seem like silly excuses. If his new wife does not want your daughter in her house, this may lead to bigger problems for him in the future. It is incredible that the new wife does not like your 5 yr old because she does not treat her like an adult. It reminds me of a lady who had the nerve to tell me off on an aircraft because my 9 month old was crying. When she stood up, I saw that she must have been at least 7 months pregnant!

It sounds to me like you are doing your best to keep father in your daughter's life and that is great. However, if he wanted to maintain contact with his daughter he would be forthright and do so.

Ultimately, if father does not want to see his daughter more than once every few months and is now making silly excuses about her being in his new home, perhaps it's not worth encouraging him. The worst case scenario is a resentful father having contact with his daughter. That may not be much fun for her.

You are not breaking the law by not allowing contact in your home.

Best regards

A. Hello there. Nobody has an automatic right to a Residence Order in respect of the children. As you are aware, a Residence Order is an Order stating where the children should live. In whose care they should be. The legislation is totally geared towards making necessary orders that are in the best interests of the children. In order to make a decision, the court needs to consider a statutory criteria that includes (i) physical, emotional and psychological needs (ii) risk of harm (iii) capability of person to provide adequate care and (iv) sex, age and characteristics of each child, amongst other things and in no particular order.

The court will appoint a Children and Families Officer (CAFCASS) to investigate. The Officer will file a report to the court making recommendations as to what order is in the child's best interests.

Nobody can guarantee that you will be awarded a Residence Order. From what you have said, if there are no concerns or allegations about your care of the children and if father has not changed, it seems that you are the better person to provide full time care for the children. However, the children need to maintain a relationship with their parents unless it is not in their best interests to do so, commonly due to risk of harm. There are cases of parents who were not good carers in the past but, who have worked hard to reform. Parents who have seen the error of their ways and over time are able to satisfy the court that they have changed and can now provide risk free care for their children. If that is the case, there are merits to the father's application.

It is very difficult to give you a definitive answer without full facts. The court looks for the best person to provide full time care for the children bearing in mind the statutory criteria.

Best Regards

A. Thank you for your question. I do not know whether your ex partner disappeared for two years or was around having contact. I will assume the worst case scenario that she disappeared.

I advise that you speak to each other and try to reach a solution. Depending on the age of your daughter, you will need to take her views into account. In the event that an agreement cannot be reached you will need to apply to the court for an order determining who your daughter should live with. This is a Residence Order. Whilst the application is being considered, you will need to consider an interim order preventing her from removing your daughter from your care if there is a threat to do so.

A children and families officer (CAFCASS) will be appointed by the court to prepare a report recommending what is in the best interests of your daughter. That is, who should have residence and how much contact the other party should have, if any. The investigation may take up to 12 weeks and refers to a statutory criteria set for such applications. The CAFCASS Officer will speak to you, your ex partner, your daughter (depending on age)and any other relevant parties in order to make a recommendation. Amongst
other things, the CAFCASS officer will need to know why your ex Partner disappeared for two years, whether she had any contact during that period, how that impacted on your daughter and how your daughter feels about her seeing her mother again. Your ex Partner's intentions and commitment will need to be investigated as will the impact on your daughter if her mother
were to disappear again. I expect that the court will want to see a slow re introduction and then monitor contact and its impact on your daughter over a period of time. Contact will gradually increase if in your daughter's best interests and then residence reconsidered in future if your ex-Partner still requests it.

A shared residence order is not uncommon these days. Unless there are risks of harm, children benefit from a strong relationship with both parents. If logistically possible, residence is shared between mother and father on a 4 day 3 day cycle. Ultimately, the court will make an order best for the
child. If your ex partner accepts that she made a wrong decision in her life and is now determined to change and be part of your daughter's life, the court is likely to support her if your daughter would benefit from it.

I reiterate that her reasons will be investigated and she will need to prove her intentions and commitment. Ultimately, it must be the right decision for your daughter.

It is unfair that a parent can disappear from a child's life leaving the other parent to change their world to cope, then return and make demands.
However, it is not for the court to punish that parent by refusing contact,because that may not be best for the child. The court must do whatever is
necessary to help the child maintain a healthy relationship with both parents whilst assuring that the child is not at risk of harm. Risks include emotional and psychological harm if that parent returns only to disappear again.

If your ex partner was in your daughter's life having regular and meaningful contact, you may want to consider shared residence.

Best Regards

A. If your ex-husband has parental responsibility for your daughter, he has a legal right to be involved in all of the decisions about important things in her life such as being christened. How much you communicate with each other depends on your relationship. In terms of the law, you don't need his permission. However, if he does not want her to be christened and there is a disagreement, he can apply to the court for a 'prohibited steps order'.
This is an order preventing you from going through with it until the court has decided whether being christened is in her best interests. This would be unusual and without much merit on his part. Some parents have different religious beliefs and therefore, the fairest approach is to teach the children about both faiths until they are old enough to make a choice for themselves.

As regards the Church, I'm not sure whether permission is required.

Best Regards