For many people the idea of counselling comes with a good deal of suspicion and fear. However, counselling can help and support you through a very painful and complicated time, it can give you the space to focus and make sense of your life at a time when you can be overwhelmed by a range of emotions.
Yvonne’s story
Becoming a single parent has been without doubt the hardest experience of my life. It was about two years after the event of my partner leaving me that I found myself crying in an uncontrollable way on the sofa one evening. Something was beginning to crack!
The days and weeks that followed led to an evaluation of my predicament. Full time job, two children who were missing their other parent and beginning to make their feelings known, solicitors and solicitors bills!, house in a mess, me feeling depressed, household administration in a complete muddle…the list went on…
This is difficult to write, but in a nutshell, I began to become withdrawn. When friends and family called, I would say “I was fine” I tried to keep up appearances – but it wasn’t really working. I was getting behind in my work – pressure was mounting in all areas of my life. Letters at home started to remain unopened, I stopped going out or socialising. Nightmares, many sleepless nights, and eventually terrifying panic attacks led me eventually to seek help.
The truth is I did not know where to go for help – It was our family doctor who finally put me in touch with a registered counsellor. At our first meeting I remember him telling me “your feelings are entirely normal”. Those all so simple words, and his availability every week to listen to my rambling, and to help me recognise what was going on and how I was feeling, have given me more comfort and support than I can possible express.
A couple of years on, I can say without any doubt that finding a counsellor who fully understood the pressures of being a single parent, saved me and my ability to hold onto my family.
The key to the success of the counselling process is finding the right person for you. You may need a child counsellor for example or someone who has a lot of experience in a particular area of distress. Finding a counsellor is not easy, as was illustrated in the story above, it is difficult to know where to go especially if this is your first time. Making the decision to talk to somebody is a big enough decision in itself. To help you we have set up a directory of counsellors for you to search. Each counsellor has give details of his or her experience in order to make it easier for you to find someone who might be able to support you. If you need any further information then please e-mail us at info@onlymums.org and we will do all that we can to help you.
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